Myspace.com

Well, I gained a testimony of Myspace.com last weekend and today I've lost it.

The brother of a friend from way back in the day found me on Myspace.com and emailed me telling me how to get in touch with my friend (his sister). This was super cool!

This morning I get on to check my messages and I have couple messages telling me I'm cute from loser guys whose friends consist of scantily clad girls. So not cool!

Branny, I prefer messages from nice guys! (Here is the attention you're craving!)


Who Is That Masked Man?

My new project is to organize all my personal reflections and principles into a functional ideology so that I can encourage the masses to undermine and perhaps overthrow the corruption in the current administration (and probably future ones as I believe there is no hope for a truly better America in the context of our current system).

My inspiration (as Senior Williams-girl "C" introduced me to)


Subcomandante Marcos, spokesperson for the Zapatista Army of National Liberation (EZLN)

Mostly I think him incredibly sexy--just look at those eyes--not to mention dynamic enough to create a following. He has a novel to be released next month, Uncomfortable Dead, cowritten by Paco Ignacio Taibo II.

El Subcomandante has a Masters degree and I have a Masters degree. He is described to have pale skin; I have pale skin. He is orginally from the city; I am a city girl. Not only are we compatible, but I recognize that because of our similarities, I can accomplish this new goal of mine.

Our Word is Our Weapon


Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream...

Okay, so I finally slept last night after taking some recommended Melatonin. The only problem, and maybe this wasn't related to the supplement, was the crazy dreams, as opposed to the grogginess I've heard so much about (I woke up feeling and still do feel nervous energy).

The first dream had to do with a mean, black rat that I adopted and decided that since it was so horrible (don't know what it did; I just understood it was evil) it had to be killed. It didn't even occur to me to take it to the vet to be put to sleep. I ended up putting it in a container with a lid to shut off its air supply.

I feel guilty even as I type.

The second dream had to do with a friend ignoring me (but not the one that currently is ignoring me).

Both dreams have a lot to do with the most stressful situations in my life right now. Maybe this proves that we can think we have everything together but our subconcious has the final say on whether we truly overcome anything.

This reminds me of hynosis; it would be interesting to try.

Just to see what is locked away in the brain.


One Complaint (Only One)

Maybe its because I live in a later generation but I don't understand how people judge each other based on such superficial characteristics, such as race, "class," gender, age, and general appearance.

I was at the SLCPL this afternoon looking at their display on the history of Japanese baseball. It caught my eye because I just finished Kira Kira, which is about a Japanese American family in the 1950s or 1960s (can't remember). They experienced racism.

The display showed the racism portrayed by the Government in the early 1900s. There was a ban on Japanese immigration to the United States and the Supreme Court upheld it. This was even before World War II. Why the Japanese?

My friend in high school is working on a media project based on the internment camp Topaz. She said that before talking to people who had to live there she thought the camp was horrible. After interviewing past residents, she said it wasn't as bad as it seemed initially, although, I wonder if she was considering that the whole idea of imprisoning people based on physical characteristics (think potential Holocaust) is pretty horrible.

Man throughout history has judged each other based on these superficial characteristics. Today we may think that we've become more understanding and progressive on this issue, but have we?

How about all the effort that the media and culture make to portray what the "perfect" image of a person is? Is someone who is overweight intrinsically worth less than someone who is slim? How about the fashion trends of "showing more leg" or completely altering one's features (through makeup, dye, plastic surgery, botox injections)? Is it really necessary that we do this? Is there a "good" reason why people feel the need to go above and beyond to look a certain way--a reason that stands independent of peer pressure?

I'm offended if I find a guy who is only interested in getting to know me because of how I look. A much better compliment is "You're smart" or "You're funny"--focusing on the intrinsic.


Ho Hum

Pending a mild case of writer's block, I've added some links in the sidebar of important news and information distributers. Be sure to check them out and pay head to the future of our world.

Also, I've added some of my favorite authors and their web sites. I always recommend their works, although there is only one male listed. Hmmmmm.... Maybe I need to broaden my reading to include the male perspective. Any suggestions?


Where is peace?

With so much war and horrific acts done against fellow human beings, and then everything crazy that happens in our personal lives, it is so hard to find any sense of peace. We can turn off the t.v. to avoid whats going on in the world but then there is all the crap that happens in our personal lives that keep us on our toes.

How do we deal effectively with all the stress? How to keep from disappearing into ourselves and hiding from the sadness?


In Loving Memory

Nickie died last Saturday. She followed me outside when I was returning to the branch after lunch. She got stuck between the door and the screen door and probably died of heat exhaustion.

We're having a funeral for her at my sister's house in Idaho tomorrow. I feel like I lost a good friend. She was a great roommate and I'll be missing her for a really long time.

Nickie liked to climb onto my bed with me on it and play tag and hide and go seek. She also liked to lick my lips after I ate. She came when I called her name--she'd coming bounding over and jump up on me and we'd wrestle.

My last moments with her were fun. We wrestled and I kissed her and told her how much I love her.

I really miss her....


Relationships can be so taxing. Luckily I've started writing in my journal so I can remember the lessons I learn from mistakes I make in them.

From now on I will be more assertive. Rather than worry about how other people may feel, I will first take note of my feelings and not sacrifice them simply for worrying about making the other person feel bad.

I let things go consistently in a particular relationship and it has become so draining that I don't really care how she feels--don't care to keep the relationship going. Meanwhile, she's under the impression that we're best friends (which I've never had before--sisters maybe but not best friends).

This is all my fault. If only I had stuck up for myself in the beginning would things have happened differently. What will happen now is unsure but hopefully I won't feel so drained from here on out.


Pretty Bird

Last evening Vega found an injured robin in the front lawn of the Library, so I put it in a box and took it home with the plan of taking it to the Ogden Nature Center for rehabilitation.

This morning, while getting ready for work, I heard a ruckus coming from the box. When I got to work, I finally looked inside the box to see how the bird was doing.

It was dead.

I don't know if I did something to kill (maybe to cool at night, no food, it hit its head on the lid of the box too much) or if it died from its injuries.

Death is always shocking, no matter who or what it is. Its hard to understand how one minute a being can have life and the next be nothing more than a just flesh and bone, no life force.

I've never experienced the death of a person, only pets. How will I deal with the death of a loved one when the death of an animal that I don't even know affects me so?


I'm Really Not Obsessed!
(I'm Just LDS!)


So last night a group of us got together to watch movies and play games. After a hot game of Scene It, we looked at cards from the game Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

We spent about three hours on this game! The guys asking the girls questions and the girls asking guys.

Its funny how much mystery there is between the sexes. One guy admitted that girls make guys much more complicated than they really are; guys are just plain simple. What a relief! Unfortunately, girls aren't.

My biggest hurrah of the night is I found a guy who loves to dance, including country dancing. Ever since our Discovery Time theme of Hoedown I've wanted to go country dancing. This is it!!!! And he's quite a bit younger so he doesn't think I was hitting on him.

P.S. The sweater is not in his car so I must have left it at the restaurant. So much for fate, Branny.