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Social Networking

So my sister asked me the other day if I had ever gotten onto an online dating site. I have but don't think its my thing. A couple of friends of mine have met people and hooked, but I just don't trust people I can't read and you can't really read a profile and a picture.

She asked me this after I told her I'm considering returning to school to get an MPA. She's concerned I won't marry. But really some things are more important than sitting around waiting for that (especially living in this county!--I could sit forever).

What is it about marriage that married people want their single family members and friends to find that "special somebody?" Being single is fun. You can go out on the town every weekend (or more). You can spontaneously call up your friends and get together. You can kick your room-mate out when they cause trouble. Right now I'm happy in my singlehood. If you get married before you can have a wonderful single life, you really don't know how fulfilling it can be. And I'm sure if you haven't married you don't know how married life is but maybe some of us can have the best of both worlds: get married later!

PS. George W. is such a dick! And a traitor to his party (and you probably know by now I'm not a huge fan of his party).

Hallelujah

I have been looking forward to this day for the past 6 years.

Rumsfield is finally leaving the Administration!!!!

His commander-in-chief and he always had an excuse for why he wouldn't leave. Why he's suddenly stepping down we may never truly know. Bush must really feel the pressure (party image, recognizing his follies, finally woke up, etc.).

Maybe if we keep trying, Bush will bend on some other pet projects of his and realize he's only a man (a very idealistic man) and step down (taking Cheney with him, of course) and move to a very small island in a the middle of the ocean (maybe near one of the poles) and keep to himself.

Please! No more Clintons and no more Bushes!

Voting

Sometimes just the idea of fitting voting into your day is a deterrent. I almost didn't today, but in the end did visit the polling place and did succeed in using the computerized voting system.

The election judge didn't announce that I had voted when I returned the card--that was a huge disappointment--but maybe they only do that for a presidential election.

As for grandma, she's doing pretty well considering the aneurysm was a four and the rating scale is 1 to 4, four being the worst. She left the hospital on Monday and the swelling in her head has gone down. Still am hestitant to see her any differently from the grandma I've always known and loved.

Medieval Babe

My Grandma

My Grandma is very special. She is 80 years old and hasn't gone to the doctor for 50 years. She drinks a little bit of coffee every morning to relieve her morning headache, which works much faster than taking a pill, which she hasn't had to take for 50 years either.

When she was a teenager, Grandma donned her short shorts and strolled down the pier with her friends. She had lots of dating experience. She'd trade her father's gas ration coupons with her beaus for their shoe ration coupons. Even after she had five children, men hit on her and wanted to whisk her away on their not so white horses. (As difficult as it may be to believe, we are related!)

Grandma likes to reminisce about her glory days; life was perfect back then. She thinks about those days often and misses her brother, whose life was cut short during the War. She also misses her father who I imagine to be a charming man (he danced, he entertained, he was an extra in a couple of Westerns, he was a mechanic, and at one time ran a gas station.)

Now my grandma lives in Colorado and is whipping her senior apartment building into shape. She's told off the complex sourpuss, who yelled at her grandson John and who bothers people at Bingo (he has since been banned from Bingo night). She doesn't tolerate gossip about other tenants. And the old, blind man that hangs out by the mailboxes wants to date her.

She is still spry as can be and looks good for her age. Her hair is hardly gray and she doesn't even dye it. This is my grandma.

And I bet she can beat up your grandma!!!

Guilty as Charged

Last week I pled guilty to three violations in the city of Sunset, Utah: not updating my address on my driver's license, not having proof of insurance in my car, and having a broken windshield.

The lame thing is we were short staffed at work and I was given a time to appear before the judge. I thought I'd just have to show my new Utah license and my proof of insurance, which I did have just not in the car. I was fined $30 for the not updating the address.

I think of it as donating to the city of Sunset.

The thing about northern Utah is there are tons of small municipalities with very limited resources. Just think of all the services the cities could provide if they united. I'm not sure why they remain independent. Surely there is some principle the residents stand upon. As for me, I believe that northern Utah could thrive if it was more united. (Kind of like my singles ward!)

I've decided lately that the Utahn culture is just too odd and I will never understand it. And I am a city girl, now and forever.

Who Are the "People" in Your Neighborhood?

One of the funny things about living in Idaho and Utah is the neighbors.

A block down the road from my four-plex, which is located in a nice, conservative neighborhood is some land with a couple of horses on it.

On the way to work, I pass pastures with cows and more horses. Sometimes I see chickens running around an unfenced yard. Once they were sitting, lined up by the side of the road watching the traffic pass by (perhaps wondering why that chicken decided to cross the road in the first place). I've seen peacocks roaming around. And this morning, I passed several dogs playing tag.

As a city girl, moving to Idaho was another world. Skipping church, sitting in the park and hearing cows mooing was eerie. And then readjusting to the city in Texas before moving to Utah made me forget how the farming community lives.

Truly, if you want wide open spaces, move West. But remember: when the wind blows the wrong way you may get a nasty whiff.

Turning Over a New Leaf

It's Fall. What better time to turn over a new leaf!

As I've been learning more about people and feeling more empowered to be myself (and not sacrifice myself to make others happy), I'm a lot happier. The anxiety, annoyance, and overall negative feelings that persist in blood sucking relationships really do weigh a person down and thats not fair. In fact, I've learned that by keeping those relationships going, I'm supporting them in their negative behaviors.

No more!

The latest incident was with a guy who really is a great guy but way too wishy washy and untrustworthy for the likes of me. A guy (or anybody) who says one thing one day and acts completely different the next is not worth the confusion and anxiety. There are more fish in the sea to settle for a jellyfish.

BFF

Dear Abby,

I read an article on BFF (Best Friends Forever) in Discovery Girls, "a magazine created by girls, for girls."

Now I can't name one BFF I've ever had! The last person who wanted to be my BFF was a little psychotic, and that is how I tend to view girls who want a BFF relationship.

Am I normal?

Yours truly,
Little Miss Independent
Utah

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." --Socrates

Apparently the work to unravel the mystery of the adolescent brain is a fairly recent investigation. I'm reading a book about the teenage brain and am fascinated at how complex this organ is. I think its safe to say that we can apply the same principle to any science that we can apply to life in general: just when we think we know something, we find out we really don't.

I wonder if part of the brain has been reserved for learning things not yet revealed to man.

Cyrano De Bergerac

Some animals are so ugly they're cute (kind of like newborn babies). Take for instance the Proboscis Monkey:

My personal favorite is the Naked Mole Rat (hey it has "rat" in its name!):


The Naked Mole Rat in Kim Possible, named Rufus, is really cool, although traditionally cute:

Myspace.com

Well, I gained a testimony of Myspace.com last weekend and today I've lost it.

The brother of a friend from way back in the day found me on Myspace.com and emailed me telling me how to get in touch with my friend (his sister). This was super cool!

This morning I get on to check my messages and I have couple messages telling me I'm cute from loser guys whose friends consist of scantily clad girls. So not cool!

Branny, I prefer messages from nice guys! (Here is the attention you're craving!)

Who Is That Masked Man?

My new project is to organize all my personal reflections and principles into a functional ideology so that I can encourage the masses to undermine and perhaps overthrow the corruption in the current administration (and probably future ones as I believe there is no hope for a truly better America in the context of our current system).

My inspiration (as Senior Williams-girl "C" introduced me to)


Subcomandante Marcos, spokesperson for the Zapatista Army of National Liberation (EZLN)

Mostly I think him incredibly sexy--just look at those eyes--not to mention dynamic enough to create a following. He has a novel to be released next month, Uncomfortable Dead, cowritten by Paco Ignacio Taibo II.

El Subcomandante has a Masters degree and I have a Masters degree. He is described to have pale skin; I have pale skin. He is orginally from the city; I am a city girl. Not only are we compatible, but I recognize that because of our similarities, I can accomplish this new goal of mine.

Our Word is Our Weapon

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream...

Okay, so I finally slept last night after taking some recommended Melatonin. The only problem, and maybe this wasn't related to the supplement, was the crazy dreams, as opposed to the grogginess I've heard so much about (I woke up feeling and still do feel nervous energy).

The first dream had to do with a mean, black rat that I adopted and decided that since it was so horrible (don't know what it did; I just understood it was evil) it had to be killed. It didn't even occur to me to take it to the vet to be put to sleep. I ended up putting it in a container with a lid to shut off its air supply.

I feel guilty even as I type.

The second dream had to do with a friend ignoring me (but not the one that currently is ignoring me).

Both dreams have a lot to do with the most stressful situations in my life right now. Maybe this proves that we can think we have everything together but our subconcious has the final say on whether we truly overcome anything.

This reminds me of hynosis; it would be interesting to try.

Just to see what is locked away in the brain.

One Complaint (Only One)

Maybe its because I live in a later generation but I don't understand how people judge each other based on such superficial characteristics, such as race, "class," gender, age, and general appearance.

I was at the SLCPL this afternoon looking at their display on the history of Japanese baseball. It caught my eye because I just finished Kira Kira, which is about a Japanese American family in the 1950s or 1960s (can't remember). They experienced racism.

The display showed the racism portrayed by the Government in the early 1900s. There was a ban on Japanese immigration to the United States and the Supreme Court upheld it. This was even before World War II. Why the Japanese?

My friend in high school is working on a media project based on the internment camp Topaz. She said that before talking to people who had to live there she thought the camp was horrible. After interviewing past residents, she said it wasn't as bad as it seemed initially, although, I wonder if she was considering that the whole idea of imprisoning people based on physical characteristics (think potential Holocaust) is pretty horrible.

Man throughout history has judged each other based on these superficial characteristics. Today we may think that we've become more understanding and progressive on this issue, but have we?

How about all the effort that the media and culture make to portray what the "perfect" image of a person is? Is someone who is overweight intrinsically worth less than someone who is slim? How about the fashion trends of "showing more leg" or completely altering one's features (through makeup, dye, plastic surgery, botox injections)? Is it really necessary that we do this? Is there a "good" reason why people feel the need to go above and beyond to look a certain way--a reason that stands independent of peer pressure?

I'm offended if I find a guy who is only interested in getting to know me because of how I look. A much better compliment is "You're smart" or "You're funny"--focusing on the intrinsic.

Ho Hum

Pending a mild case of writer's block, I've added some links in the sidebar of important news and information distributers. Be sure to check them out and pay head to the future of our world.

Also, I've added some of my favorite authors and their web sites. I always recommend their works, although there is only one male listed. Hmmmmm.... Maybe I need to broaden my reading to include the male perspective. Any suggestions?

Where is peace?

With so much war and horrific acts done against fellow human beings, and then everything crazy that happens in our personal lives, it is so hard to find any sense of peace. We can turn off the t.v. to avoid whats going on in the world but then there is all the crap that happens in our personal lives that keep us on our toes.

How do we deal effectively with all the stress? How to keep from disappearing into ourselves and hiding from the sadness?

In Loving Memory

Nickie died last Saturday. She followed me outside when I was returning to the branch after lunch. She got stuck between the door and the screen door and probably died of heat exhaustion.

We're having a funeral for her at my sister's house in Idaho tomorrow. I feel like I lost a good friend. She was a great roommate and I'll be missing her for a really long time.

Nickie liked to climb onto my bed with me on it and play tag and hide and go seek. She also liked to lick my lips after I ate. She came when I called her name--she'd coming bounding over and jump up on me and we'd wrestle.

My last moments with her were fun. We wrestled and I kissed her and told her how much I love her.

I really miss her....

Relationships can be so taxing. Luckily I've started writing in my journal so I can remember the lessons I learn from mistakes I make in them.

From now on I will be more assertive. Rather than worry about how other people may feel, I will first take note of my feelings and not sacrifice them simply for worrying about making the other person feel bad.

I let things go consistently in a particular relationship and it has become so draining that I don't really care how she feels--don't care to keep the relationship going. Meanwhile, she's under the impression that we're best friends (which I've never had before--sisters maybe but not best friends).

This is all my fault. If only I had stuck up for myself in the beginning would things have happened differently. What will happen now is unsure but hopefully I won't feel so drained from here on out.

Pretty Bird

Last evening Vega found an injured robin in the front lawn of the Library, so I put it in a box and took it home with the plan of taking it to the Ogden Nature Center for rehabilitation.

This morning, while getting ready for work, I heard a ruckus coming from the box. When I got to work, I finally looked inside the box to see how the bird was doing.

It was dead.

I don't know if I did something to kill (maybe to cool at night, no food, it hit its head on the lid of the box too much) or if it died from its injuries.

Death is always shocking, no matter who or what it is. Its hard to understand how one minute a being can have life and the next be nothing more than a just flesh and bone, no life force.

I've never experienced the death of a person, only pets. How will I deal with the death of a loved one when the death of an animal that I don't even know affects me so?