Le mieux blog dans le monde!

Lately, I've been spending my evenings/nights multitasking on totally unimportant "tasks": watching a variety of television shows, playing Mah Jong Tiles, and looking at the social network sites. I'm pretty tired of the social networking and Mah Jong. Reading has been put on the back burner since none of the four books I'm in the middle of are particularly gripping (a couple are very well-written but slow going).

So that leaves television (and a smidgen of spring cleaning; my makeup and toiletry baskets are organized and my wardrobe reduced). What am I watching? All the crime shows I can and the Lifetime Movie Network.

We had a writer who used to use the Branch's computers for writing her self-help books. These self-help books included such topics as alcoholism and divorce. Her qualifications? Reading other self-help books, talking to people who have been through these difficulties, and Lifetime original movies.

I think my grandma was (and may still be) a fan of the channel too.

There are two themes that these movies use: kick-butt women (although, they are still very feminine and your run of the mill romance novel "strong") and women who are victims. Last night I watched a show with Diane Ladd who was in an abusive marriage, and when she tried to leave the guy he hired someone to knock her off. I also watched a movie (not a Lifetime original but aired on the station) about a woman whose sister died by falling off cliff. Turns out the woman's husband wanted her money and house so he sabotaged the rail on the cliff so she'd fall and die, but his scheme was thwarted when her sister fell through the rail instead. And the third movie (I only saw a quarter of it) was about a woman who took a trip to Mexico with her husband, but it turns out her husband had skeletons in his past and wife had to go against a crazy cult leader to save her kidnapped husband.

This is certainly too much Lifetime watching, not to mention too much television watching. Rusty is ashamed to call me wife and fears that I will end up conditioned to hate him. But there is an appeal to these kinds of shows and I have fallen victim to it!
1. After working long shifts and some overtime it is nice to not have to use one's brain and to sit and watch shows that don't take a considerable amount of brain power.
2. After spending all day helping patrons and managing staff, I don't want to socialize.
3. Watching other people's drama (no matter how far-fetched or how bad the acting is) helps me realize how lucky I am.
4. I find it inspiring and realize that I too could write these plots so maybe I do actually have some talent.
5. It is one of those guilty pleasures that will end in two weeks, when Rusty finishes working nights.

Also, warm weather is on the horizon and I almost feel more motivated to live life, rather than let it pass me by (see, winter holds me back so I should really live somewhere without the season).

I find it therapeutic to write down my thoughts, especially the negative ones. Doing so makes me feel like I have a voice, even if only a handful of people hear it. So here goes.

Every time I leave and return to Utah, I take a week or two to adjust to the fact that I'm stuck here for another few years. Two weeks ago, I spent the weekend in Boise with the family and four days last week in Austin with the urban family.

Q: My husband was the number one reason for returning to the Beehive State from the Gem State. The number one reason for returning from Texas, considering I had my husband with me there?

A: My sense of responsibility; although, one look at my work email prodded me to expedite getting on the librarian register for the military which closes next month. I shudder and feel trapped at the thought that the economy may take several years to improve (but at least I have a secure job now, ho hum).

Luckily, my husband is being exposed to outside influences and recognizes the benefits of diverse demographics and beliefs; yummy restaurants; beautiful parks; open-minded church members; and warmer weather. He even commented on how healthy the people in Austin looked compared to Utahns.

I'm tired of hearing people here talk about "the world" outside "Zion" and how the lives of nonmembers are shallow and rampant with sin. These comments come from the same people who are born and raised in the same county they decide to settle down in as adults, with limited experience outside the state (and, no, missions don't count). They also tend to be vocal about some fringe, gloomy, and strange beliefs that I've never heard before (and, no, I'm not being close-minded about these ideas either; they are just plain weird!).

Yes, the mountains and national parks are beautiful (the primary reason to visit Utah). The cost of living isn't very high. There are some respected universities and research facilities. I imagine the crime rate is pretty low (except for meth use). The Salt Lake City central library was named Library of the Year. The Olympics were here in 2002 (yipee!). It is home to a few celebrated authors. I met my husband here.

For some Utah is a wonderful place to call home. For me, well, let's just say that after 3.5 years I have yet to feel at home--and it's not for lack of trying--so I chalk it up to that maybe I just wasn't meant to spend the rest of my life here.